A reflection on the Sufjan Stevens album.

Written by Briana Williams

Image courtesy of Asthmatic Kitty

Carrie and Lowell, Sufjan Stevens’ seventh album, haunts its listeners. The combination of Stevens’ breathy vocals and stripped back instrumentals captures his feelings of loss, pain, and confusion, pulling in both lifelong fans and critics alike. 

The 10-year release anniversary of the album is March 31. Within the first week of the release, critics predicted Carrie and Lowell to be regarded as one of the defining albums of the 2010s. 

Many declare the album’s main theme to be grief — grief of both his mother’s death in 2012 and grief of her not being truly present during his adolescence. A reasonable conclusion, as many of the songs on the album are Stevens’ singing about being forced to reckon with the loss of his mother, who he never really had the opportunity to deeply know due to her struggles with schizophrenia and alcoholism. The memories he has of her are complicated. His mother, the titular Carrie, left the family when he was only a year old, and the time he spent with her was sparse — summer visits with Carrie and her husband, Lowell, were the extent of their relationship. 

He sings about her later abandonment of him in “Should Have Known Better,” softly vocalizing, “When I was three, maybe four / She left us at that video store.” In “Eugene,” he explains how he always wanted to be near her, dropping ashtrays to get her attention. He sings about her later abandonment of him in “Should Have Known Better,” softly vocalizing, “When I was three, maybe four / She left us at that video store.” In “Eugene,” he explains how he always wanted to be near her, dropping ashtrays to get her attention. 

 Feelings of childhood neglect are prominent, emphasized by Stevens’ singing in the title track, “Carrie, come home (Thorazine’s friend).” Thorazine is an antipsychotic that treats both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder — also most likely the medication Carrie was prescribed to treat her symptoms.  Listening to the melancholic lyrics of this album paints a picture of Stevens’ being a boy and craving his mothers love. 

The album is about grief and simultaneously (and more importantly), this album is about healing. While Stevens does sing about his feelings of rejection and loss throughout the album, he makes it a point to begin the album with a clear declaration of forgiveness. 

The first of the closing lines of the opening track “Death with Dignity,” feature Stevens singing, “I forgive you mother, I can hear you / And I long to be near you / But every road leads to an end.” The song ends with the, “Five red hens, you’ll never see us again / You’ll never see us again.” That visceral raw lyric is followed by 45 seconds of softly layered vocalizations that are reminiscent of the apparitions sung about earlier in the song. His mother is gone, yet there is a feeling of her lingering presence around him. 

Carrie and Lowell is, in many ways, a depressing record, which is a simplification of what Stevens’ released. The album is about love, loss, and pain, yet it is also about reflection and resilience. The grief is palpable, but so is the love. To reduce Carrie and Lowell to just being “depressing,” is to do a disservice to Stevens. 

While Carrie and Lowell was created as a result of terrible pain, true hope shines throughout every song. In “Should Have Known Better,” the second song on the album, Stevens’ sings, “My brother had a daughter / The beauty that she brings, illumination.” He lost his mother, but is still able to appreciate his niece, and the creation of new life that was brought into the world. 

In “The Only Thing,” Stevens’ sings about the only things that keep him from succumbing to his sorrow. “Signs and wonders, sea lion caves in the dark.” In the same vein as “Should Have Known Better,” Steven’s recognizes the beauty still present in the world. There are signs and wonders. He can see the sea lion caves. There is so much pain in the world, but there is also so much joy. 

The story behind Carrie and Lowell is not necessarily a happy one, but it is a real, honest one. For a lot of people, especially for listeners seeking out this album, life can be hard. People love others, lose them, and still they continue to love. At its core, that is what Carrie and Lowell tells the listener. Love people. But, most importantly, forgive people.